ST. LOUIS - Well, you can’t go back. That’s one of the hard lessons in life. You can’t go back in time and tear up that mortifying love letter you left in the locker of Sara the beautiful cheerleader. Well, OK, maybe that was me. See, you can’t go back to the day when you bought your first car and point out to the salesman that 17 percent interest seems awfully high for a new car.

Oh, wait, that was me, too. How did this become a list of my most embarrassing moments?

The point is you just can’t go back and correct the past. And, yes, it now seems clear that the Royals should have gone to the National League when they had the chance.

I emphasize the word "now," because these things change fast in sports. Who knows? In two or three years, the American League might be filled with creampuffs, the National League might be loaded with monsters, "Oceans 15" might win an Oscar for best picture. You never know in this crazy world.

Right now, at this moment, that decision of 10 years ago to stay in the AL stings.

This year, the Royals have the second-worst record in the American League. But, after last night’s win against the Cardinals, they are 9-4 against National League teams. That’s a 112-victory pace if you are calculating at home.

There’s a definite pattern, too. Last year, the Royals lost 100 games, but they had a winning record against the National League. That meant something. They didn’t have a winning record in any other category - not at home, not on the road, not on turf, not on grass, not in June, not at noon, not on a boat, not with a goat. Two years ago, the Royals lost a team-record 106 losses. They had a 9-9 record against the National League.

Over the last three seasons, the Royals are 119-227 against the American League, which is sensationally bad. But against the National League, they are 28-21. It’s a .571 winning percentage - higher than any team in the National League Central right now.

Fluke? Statistical glitch? Luck? Maybe. Then again, maybe not. There’s something that became blatantly obvious watching the Royals beat the Cardinals last night - that was their third victory over the Cardinals in four games and their fifth in the seven against the World Series champs . The obvious thing is this:

The Cardinals are not very good. That whole league is not very good.

Yes, it’s true - as the St. Louis e-mails will pointedly say - that the Cardinals are beat up, they are without their ace (Chris Carpenter) and they are without Scrappy Doo (David Eckstein) and they are without their 600-year-old center fielder (Jim Edmonds). And also the Cardinals are World Series champs, and when was the last time anyone in Kansas City won anything and so on.

But the fact is that there was one guy in the Cardinals lineup last night who scared anybody. That was Albert Pujols, of course.

So the Royals just intentionally walked Pujols. Problem solved. Cleanup hitter Juan Encarnacion (that is not a misprint) thoughtfully hit into two double plays. The bottom three hitters in the lineup went 1 for 11. The Royals won 5-3.

"Smart way you handled Pujols," a reporter said to Royals Manager Buddy Bell. He shrugged. One thing I love about Buddy: The guy doesn’t ever act as if he’s some kind of genius - which would make him the polar opposite of the guy who managed the other side last night. He just manages the game.

"We didn’t really have a choice," Bell said.

In the American League, even the worst teams can explode on you like a trick cigar. The Texas Rangers are awful, but no pitcher wants to face that lineup with Mark Teixeira, Michael Young, Hank Blalock, Ian Kinsler and even a suddenly feisty senior-citizen Sammy Sosa. The Tampa Bay Devil Rays haven’t come close to breaking even in their history, but they have four players in the lineup hitting .310 or better, and that doesn’t even include star outfielder Carl Crawford.

Those are two bad teams. You all know how well the good teams hit. It has been impossible for Royals pitchers to handle it. Last night, though, they only had to deal with Encarnacion, the suddenly ancient-looking Scott Rolen, Scott Spiezio, Gary Bennett, Aaron Miles - the eight other guys in the Cardinals lineup had as many homers as Albert Pujols. It’s like a half-day of work.

Yes, it sure would be sweet living in the National League. Now, none of this was particularly obvious 10 years ago when the Royals had the chance to move over into the NL Central. At that time, the American League Central was the weakest division in baseball, and it looked as if it might be that way for a while. The National League had some really good teams and players. Kansas City had always been an American League city, going back to the Kansas City A’s, going back even further to the Kansas City Blues.

Still, if the Royals had known what was going to happen - if they had known that the American League Central would become a beast, that the National League would collapse, that home runs would fly more than Southwest Airlines, that the Royals would look so much more at home against NL teams - they would have made the switch. And the way it looks, the Royals might have been a factor in the dismal NL Central.

But if there is one true thing, it is this: You cannot go back and erase a column you might have written about how the Royals should stay true to their American League heritage and write a completely new one saying that the Royals should definitely switch to the NL. Oh wait, that’s me again.

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